The Hardest Week

Last week I was invited to a local high school to give a lecture about ‘Life’. My audience was a group of high school students, mostly on house arrest. I had no idea what to talk about. Thank God two of my close friends, Sam and Andy, came over the night before my lecture to provide some much needed inspiration. They were on their way home from their internship with Assemblyman Felipe Fuentes. Not a bad gig for still being in community college. I made sure to let them know how lucky they were to be in a position to learn so much so soon, there are grad school students who would love to be in their position.

These two guys are incredible: young, motivated, and willing to do the hard work necessary to achieve dreams. My cousin Tank introduced me to these two a couple of years ago before they became interested in pursuing higher education, back when they were simply living life one day at a time.  Tank and I have spent countless days tutoring, molding, mentoring, and just hanging out with these two young men. All of our efforts focused on the positive, not being preachy but being real. Tank and I basically wanted to help the next generation, offer up the life advice that we so desperately needed but never had at their age.

Sam and Andy told me about chatting it up with some local politicians and businessmen, using networking techniques to ask for their business cards with the intention of growing a sound professional network. Sam mentioned that he has had great success with reaching people simply because he is a student. Sam told me how he has been following up, asking question about political life, what it is these people do, and most importantly what he needs to do in order to be like them. I helped teach this kid this. It still amazes me when I think back a couple of short years ago, when Sam’s life was in a much different place, a cold, dark, and lonely place that I am all too familiar with. To paraphrase Carlito Brigante, “The streets are rough, they will eat you alive, spit you out. If you’re lucky you end up in a pine box, the unlucky ones end up paralyzed or wasting away in prison.” There is a difference today, my life is far removed from what I knew as a teenager and Sam and Andy are in the early stages of my old journey. I am proud that I have given a piece of myself so that one day Sam and Andy can achieve their dreams. I suddenly felt inspired to lecture tomorrow.

“Wishin’ I live my life a legend, immortalized in pictures
Why shed tears? Save your sympathy
My childhood years were spent buryin’ my peers in the cemetery
Here’s a message to the newborns, waitin’ to breathe
If you believe then you can achieve
Just look at me
Against all odds, though life is hard we carry on
Livin’ in the projects, broke with no lights on
To all the seeds that follow me
protect your essence
Born with less, but you still precious
Just smile for me now”

-Tupac Shakur, ‘Smile’

This song played randomly on my Ipod and the lyrics danced around my head as I sipped my coffee and sped up highway 14 on my way to Palmdale. This was definitely appropriate considering the audience I would be addressing. I remember the first time I ever lectured for Ms. Holladay, I was on my way to UCSB, and some of her ‘bad’ students were giving her a tough time. I decided to help out. I drove up to my old high school, met some students, and gave them a healthy dose of reality. These kids weren’t bad, just misguided, or in some cases unguided. I was a child myself, barely in my early twenties, the only thing I had going for me at the time was the fact that I did not have a criminal record, no kids, and was on my way to UCSB.  Today my lecture would be much more intimate than before. Today was a follow up from a talk I gave at this time last year. Not all of Ms. Holladay’s students from last year where there, a couple managed to stay out of jail and had the privilege of attending R. Rex Parris High School instead of returning to juvenile hall or CYA.

My lecture last year focused on my application to grad school, how to begin the process of applying to  undergrad, and most importantly what I did to get from Point A (their seats) to Point B (working at Neohire.com/Resumebucket.com) and living a life far removed from the one I knew as a teenager. Interestingly enough, Sam and Andy saw what I spoke about first hand as this was around the time we all really started hanging out. I remember explaining to them from my dining room table exactly what the GRE test was and the differences between the GRE, SATs, and LSATs.

Today I decided to speak on all the things I have accomplished since last year. I talked about nearly being robbed three times in South America, possibly getting killed/kidnapped in Buenos Aires, battling for my rights with Interpol agents, totaling my car, moving out of my apartment and squatting on my brother’s couch (for which I am grateful), my experiences at ‘Happy Camp’, my frustrations with adjusting to student life all over again, my chance meetings at the Global Climate Summit, my involvement with the Millennium Momentum Foundation, volunteering  with Just Like You at Pacoima Elementary School, the amount of reading and writing I have done in the last few weeks, and why I would not change a thing in my life, both good and especially bad, if I could do it all over again as these experiences gave me valuable insights into how people from various walks of life function.

These young minds were full of comments, questions, and laughs as I did my best to get their attention by mixing in some slang, a couple of calculated curse words to maintain their attention, and some candid personal stories about growing up. I chose to end my discussion by speaking about the “Digital Footprint” and how what they do online today will impact the rest of their lives both professionally, academically, and most important legally.

Ms. Holladay has a student, I won’t mention his name because he is a minor, but I am proud of him. He has changed as much as he could in one year, from being a complete waste of space to becoming a model student. They both attribute this change to my lecture last year, my ability to reach the core of this student and shake him out of his comfort zone.  It turned out that Ms. Holladay used emails and photographs that I sent her from my South American adventure as part of her daily lesson plans in class.  This particular student told me that reading about my adventures, looking at my pictures, and researching the exotic locales inspired him to try harder in class. It is at moments like this when realize that my life is no longer my own. I realize that my words have a huge impact, my actions even more so. This student and I spoke at length after my lecture. He told me about what he plans to do after high school, attend community college, clean up his record, and apply to college. He said it best, “You did it, why can’t I?” He is absolutely right.  I thought about those Tupac lyrics, they summed up my life then and now.

Unfortunately these feelings of accomplishment and the sense of purpose I felt after lecturing were short lived. What followed that evening set in motion events that would lead to one of the hardest personal challenge I have had in some time. I sent a text to Sam and Andy to let them know that I was planning on writing about them for my blog and that I wanted them to read my rough draft before cleaned it up and posted it on my blog. They couldn’t make it over to my apartment because they had already made plans for the evening.  I left the invitation open and decided to head out with a couple of friends from the SPP program.

I received a series of text messages and phone calls around midnight last Friday, Sam and Andy had been shot. Sam was shot in the mouth at point blank range and Andy had been shot in the upper torso twice. My throat choked up, my heart dropped.  I immediately sped to the hospital. I did my best to remain calm, but couldn’t help thinking the worst. What could have been a good night, a celebration of inspiration and positive impact on youth, took a turn for worse.  I arrived at Holy Cross Hospital and saw that the ER was packed.  There had been multiple shootings in Pacoima that night. My friends became another set of crime statistics.

I did my best to remain calm, I stayed at the hospital until about 4 am waiting to find out what had happened, waiting to get the status on my friends. I was still shocked, I had texted these guys earlier that night, had they come out with me chances are none of this would have happened. Had I been with them maybe I would be in the hospital bed next to them.

I spent the next week trying to study at the hospital. Needless to say I didn’t get much done. I had my books, my laptop, and my class notes. I just couldn’t focus. I hadn’t slept much since Friday and the wear and tear was showing.  The only thing that kept me going was the fact that my cousin Tank experienced similar circumstances during his law school years at Pepperdine, if he could grind out the hard work while in the hospital so could I. I decided not to let this be an excuse for failure. I wanted to show Sam and Andy that nothing in life worth doing is ever easy. With dedication and hard work anything is possible and despite my state of mind, all the worry and fear, I would persevere.  They have a long road to recovery ahead of them, Andy may never regain use of his right hand, Sam will likely undergo multiple surgeries to repair damage to his face and jaw, not to mention the psychological impact such traumatic events inevitably have on these guys. I would not be living up to expectations if I gave up in the face of such a small adversity relative to theirs. They needed to push forward and so did I.

I went straight to the hospital after class every day that week. I reviewed my notes for Professor Hawken’s midterm and HDI assignment while in the ICU waiting room and hospital cafeteria.  I read Machiavelli’s “The Prince”, Marx’s “Communist Manifesto”, and my outline on “The Federalist Papers” in preparation for my upcoming paper for Professor Lloyd’s class. I kept pushing forward all the while worried about the condition of my friends. A little over a week has passed. Andy is now back at home, he is still recovering and Sam just had his second surgery to repair damage to his salivary glands. I pray that both make a speedy recovery and can get back to the normalcy of school and interning for Assemblyman Fuentes. As much as they may say I inspire them to succeed, today they inspire me to face adversity with courage.

 

 

 

Decompression

Midterms are pretty much behind me and I must say that they were intense…two papers and an exam all due in the same week. Time management was the key to my survival, this basically meant that I would have to forego the gym, order more take out/delivery, and heavily limit my time reading ‘useless’ websites such as ESPN and Maxboxing.

I decided that after writing my thirty page paper for Professor Kaufman’s class, my five page paper for Professor Lloyd’s class, and taking my in-class exam for Professor Prieger’s class, that a break was in order. While some of my classmates chose to hang around town and get some much needed rest or head to the culturally rich Las Vegas desert, I decided to something completely different. I explored the American Midwest. I found a red-eye flight to the Rustbelt of America, Cleveland, Ohio.

This was my first trip to the Midwest and I had absolutely no idea what to expect. Most people thought I was insane for opting to hop an a redeye from LAX to Hopkins International instead of somewhere ‘cool’ such as Chicago, but the ‘uncoolness’ of Cleveland is exactly what drew me there. I made arrangements with a close friend of mine from undergrad and like that was off on my adventure.

Ohio was a stark contrast to my life in Los Angeles. I have never experienced a real autumn, Ohio changed that. It was freezing cold and pouring rain when I arrived. I hopped on the Rapid train and made my way to Tower City near the Warehouse District. Cleveland offered me many questions to ponder…Why did I bother to leave the sunshine and ninety degree weather, what do people here do, how is the economy affecting this area, etc…

I noticed immediately that I stood out. Cleveland is a fishbowl. Many people there seem to know each other and were quick to point out that I was a fresh face.  I had the chance to meet some young adults at the Panini Grill on 6^th Street and chat about what they do. Some worked in finance, some worked blue collar jobs, and some were facing the hardships associated with the growing unemployment rate. According to The Bureau of Labor Statistics in August 2009 Ohio had an unemployment rate of 10.5%.

Many of the street vendors and local eatery workers that I met were quite grateful that I decided to go against the grain and spend my greenbacks in the city. A few of the young ladies that I met at The Barley House, a local sports bar in the warehouse district, told me about how rough the job market has been lately. I couldn’t quite grasp how this city with a wealth of human capital could have so many college graduates working menial jobs just to scrape by. I thought about this for the better part of my trip, it seemed to me that there was a distinct line between those with jobs and money and those without. During one such conversation, the topic of graduate school arose and as it turns out that my new friend in Ohio had a friend who attended Pepperdine Law and graduated with my cousin Tank. Talk about six degrees of separation.

Ohio was pretty. I saw the wild waves of Lake Erie. Hiked around Squires’ Castle, saw some amazing foliage, and enjoyed the best cup of coffee at Heck’s Restaurant. FYI I am a coffee snob, Heck’s hands down had the best cup of coffee I have ever tasted and a pretty tasty egg and apple omelet.

Decompression was good. I appreciated the time I had to take in the scenery and readjust to human life. I did bring a couple of books to keep my busy during my flights and spent some time chatting politics and job/internship possibilities with a lobbyist from DC. All in all this was a good trip and one that I will likely not forget. Back to the books I go.

Creating Opportunity 101

Friday October 2^nd, 2009 was a day that I will never forget.  I remember waking up still tired from studying the night before.  It is 6 am, I don’t have class on Fridays, what am I doing up so early?  These thoughts raced through my mind as I was hit the snooze button on my Blackberry.  It didn’t take long however for me to remember that today was the big day.  Pepperdine’s School of Public Policy had acquired day passes to the Governor’s Global Climate Summit in Century City and offered them to a few interested students.  Leadership from around the world would be at this event to discuss all things related to the environment and policy.  This was my chance to seize the day and watch history unfold right before my eyes.  In an instant, the feeling of grogginess that usually accompanies my early mornings suddenly vanished.

I arrived at the Hyatt Century Plaza Hotel slightly after 8:30am.  The woman who checked my ID and handed me my badge was slightly disorganized, she ran out of lanyards and schedules.   I had absolutely no idea where to go.  As I wandered around I came across an old friend of mine who by coincidence happened to be working on the official film crew for the event.  My friend Rick and I exchanged hellos then he mentioned that he had been at the summit all week filming various dignitaries for the event.  It was at this point that he mentioned the possibility of interviewing Tony Blair and Governor Schwarzenegger later today.  Rick asked if I would be interested in watching the interview from up close. YES, absolutely.  We made arrangements to meet once he got the official green light to interview Tony Blair.  I decided to find my way to the first discussion of the morning.

The first discussion was about how sub-national and federal governments can partner together to achieve common goals pertaining to the environment.  The panelists included the Governors of New York, Oregon, and Washington and Governors from Brazil, Nigeria, and Indonesia.  I decided to head over to the Agriculture breakout session immediately after and it was here where my day really took a change.  I can’t explain it, but I felt something in the air from the moment I entered the conference room.  I took my seat and made friends with another student, Molly from UCLA.  We discussed our experiences in our respective programs and what we hoped to gain from the summit.  It was at this moment that an usher from the Hyatt, Jimmy, introduced himself. Jimmy noticed that I did not have a lanyard to properly display my pass for the event.  Jimmy explained that with the high levels of security I would be subject to questioning by authorities all day unless I displayed my ticket.  He decided that he would make it his priority to find a lanyard for me.  At this point, the panel discussion began.

This was one the most interesting discussions I have ever witnessed.  Ann Veneman of UNICEF moderated a discussion that included Mark Cackler a representative from The World Bank, Nikolaus Berlakovich the Austrian Minister of Agriculture, John Hickman Director of Renewable Energy from John Deere, and the President Diouf of the Fatick Region of Senegal.  The discourse was thought provoking and heart breaking.  The people of Senegal are suffering.  Many children there are hungry.  The rural farmers there have no choice but to water their crops with contaminated water.  President Diouf pleaded for help.  I have never witnessed such humility, this man traveled across the globe to ask the people of a developed nation for help.  I was touched, I lived in Juarez, Mexico for a short period as a child and grew up in Pacoima, California yet I have never encountered the levels of poverty described by President Diouf.  At this moment I felt a real sense of purpose, I must do everything in my power to make my corner of the world a better place.  I must do all that I can to ensure that I have a positive impact as many people as possible while I have the chance.

I received a text message from my friend Rick that he would be interviewing Tony Blair immediately after the lunch time panel discussion.  I was excited.  It was at this moment that I realized that I may not be able to see the lunch panel because of the pass I held.  Tickets for the lunch cost about $200 and I debated the opportunity cost of spending $200.  Suddenly Jimmy the usher approached me. He had been looking for me because he found a lanyard.  I was surprised that he bothered to find me.  I thanked him and we chatted.  He asked if I would be attending the lunch panel as it was surely something that shouldn’t be missed.  I mentioned that I needed to purchase my ticket to the lunch and he told me that there might be a few empty seats.  Jimmy checked and sure enough there where two seats near the middle of the room.  I was shocked.  Jimmy saved me $200 and put me in a position to witness history.  Jimmy escorted me to my seat and I immediately asked if he would be kind enough to let Molly in as well.  He did. I introduced myself to the others at my table.  The lunch panel consisted of a speech by actor Rob Lowe, a lecture on climate control by Thomas Friedman, and concluded with a casual conversation between Tony Blair, Dr. Rajendra Pachauri, Governor Schwarzenegger, and Ann Thompson of NBC.  Thomas Friedman talked about the key issues in his new book, why we need to develop new sources of energy, and how being the first country with clean reusable energy technology would positively impact the United States.  The discussion between Dr. Pachauri, Governor Schwarzenegger, and Tony Blair centered on what we must do as global citizens to reduce pollution worldwide.

Rick texted me that I needed to walk to the media tent immediately if I wanted to see Tony Blair up close.  I met the film crew and was escorted past all of the police officers, past private security, past secret service types, and strolled casually into the media tent.  Tony Blair arrived moments later.  I was standing nearly 6 feet away from one of the most influential people in the world.  I watched as Tony Blair gave interviews to various international news stations, he posed for pictures, and shook hands with various people in attendance.  I decided to head back down to the main convention area immediately after watching Tony Blair give his interviews and it was here that I had the chance to meet Dr. Pachauri.  I jumped on this once in a lifetime opportunity and introduced myself to Dr. Pachauri.  Surprisingly Dr. Pachauri was approachable.  This was huge considering he shares a Nobel Peace Prize with Al Gore.  We spoke about his comments during the lunch panel and posed for a picture.  Afterward I walked back to the main convention hall and found a seat.

Governor Schwarzenegger would be signing an international climate treaty later that afternoon with many of the dignitaries in attendance.  The convention hall was nearly empty.  I scanned the room for familiar faces and saw President Diouf sitting by himself on the opposite end of the room.  I decided to go over and introduce myself.  President Diouf was a good man.  Although there was a language barrier, we managed to have a lengthy conversation about his country and the problems they face.  We posed for a picture and then President Diouf offered his business card and mentioned that I should email him if I have any questions about Senegal.  The treaty signing was about to begin, the hall began to fill in with audience members.  I needed to find a seat, I excused myself from the President and he in turn offered that I sit with him in the front area near the stage.  My heart raced.  We sat in the front section of the ballroom with leaders from Indonesia and  a few other nations.  The signing was about to begin, President Diouf excused himself so that he could approach the stage and take his seat before signing.

Sitting in traffic on my drive I kept asking myself what the significance of today meant in relation to my personal and academic goals.  I thought about Pepperdine’s Mission Statement of purpose, service, and leadership.  Today was more than just a Friday. Today may have been the first day of the rest of my life.

What am I doing with my life?

What am I doing with my life? I find myself asking this question at least once a week. Let me be the first to tell you that the last six weeks of my life have been like nothing I have ever experienced before and yet somehow none of this is completely strange to me. I tend to find myself in peculiar situations more often than not and while most people choose to run away, I run to it. For example in my lifetime I have been on the receiving end of urban gunfire on more than one occasion, I attended the ultimate party school, I somehow managed to find myself arguing my way out of Interpol offices in two different countries on the same day for two unrelated incidents, I spent a year living in a freezing garage, I backpacked through South America, I worked side by side with some of the brightest and arguably the coolest guys in the SoCal dotcom space, and now here I am working toward my masters at Pepperdine.

My life has changed drastically in the last six weeks. My late nights hanging out with my friends have been replaced by late nights hanging out with my books. I have become the first member of my family to finish high school, earn a BA, and begin a graduate program.

Time flies when you’re learning so much. In the last six weeks I have read hundreds of pages of information on topics ranging from Plato and the perfect regime to statistics and the probability of US missile systems intercepting incoming nuclear warheads. In the last six weeks I have become the first person in my family to be within earshot of political heavyweights like Tony Blair and Governor Schwarzenegger. In the last six weeks I have had the opportunity to discuss global climate change with a Noble Peace Prize winner and a provincial president from Senegal. This is a far cry from the life I knew as a kid running wild on the streets of Pacoima and Lancaster. In the last six days I have written more on the Federalists and Antifederalists than I ever imagined I would. OK truthfully I never imagined I would. I have felt the joys of being a part of a tradition that is bigger than I and the frustration of not quite understanding calculus formulas during math review sessions. Thanks to ‘Happy Camp’ I have had the great pleasure of meeting 75 distinct personalities, each with his or her own set of talents. At times it can be intimidating being surrounded by so many bright individuals but the truth is that each of us is here to push the rest of us to heights we may not be able to reach on our own.

So now I ask, “What am I doing with my life? “ My answer is simple. I am challenging myself to escape my comfort zone, to expand my mind, to meet new people, and to try to understand points of view that will likely differ from my own. The last six weeks have presented a set of challenges and small victories and now I look forward to the next six weeks…and now my question to you, “What are you doing with your life?”